Mother's Day

I got a really nice little painting from my older DD, and she bought me some scented candles from the dollar store with her own money. However, I had to make breakfast, DH is on the computer watching woodworking videos, and the girls are watching a video in the playroom. Yay.

The BBEX awards last Tuesday were actually quite nice. They moved to a different location this year, and some students did the montage videos for all the nominees. The food was, as usual, amazing, and DH presented the SaskEnergy award this year. I got a lot of odd looks for my outfit. I guess it could have been more flattering, but it was so fun, I just had to.

A little frumpy, and as usual, no good lighting, but I still love the dress. And the socks. And the boots. And the purse, and the coat. Below is my little rockabilly girl. She actually chose this herself.

I guess she comes by it honestly, anyway!

It's May, spring....

And here I sit, looking out my window, at the snow. I'm about to go wake up the kids, their soup for lunch is heating, the smoothie ingredients are in the blender, and it's snowing. I am a little concerned for all of the little perennials coming out. I force most of my herbs, pushing my zone --I'm a zone 2b. That basically means, I can hardly grow anything, and my last frost date is June 5th -- and snow with really cold temperatures just might kill off the little sprouts coming up.

DD's Barbara Reid pictures are really good. I think we have found where her talents lie. I haven't done one myself yet, but I'm thinking I should. I look at hers, and have a hard time accepting that they are done by a 6 year old!

I have a reason to get dressed up tonight. I'm going to some awards ceremony. I go every year, I don't know anyone up for an award, and it's terribly boring, but it's part of my DH's networking for work. I'm tempted to go all out, but I don't think I remember how to do my makeup. And the dark circles under my eyes will make me look like a raccoon regardless! But time away in a fancy dress is still time away. In the snow. In heels. Yay.

Yes, I am alive.

My modified kitchen!! (I paused to take this picture while making supper.) It is amazing how time can get away with you. Kids, home renovations, getting ready for spring, all of it, can just make it seem like the days are flying by in a blur. We built a new kitchen counter, put in tile on the back splash, and got new handles for the cupboards. It can make quite a difference. My DH's bosses figure he'll have a management position within the year, so now we are just trying to get the house looking nice. Anything functional, and half decent looking, stays, and everything else gets new makeup, or replaced. I really would like some nice steampunk accents, but finding it can be hard. Duty can be tough on some stuff, and the online shopping in Canada seems to be lacking. My DH is modern/minimalist, and I'm steampunk, with a little exotic thrown in, and finding things we both like can be hard. I want an eastern/jewel toned bedroom, with rich fabrics, and incense, and he wants one where it's easy to set out his suits and get dressed in a well organized, visually minimal space in neutral colours. All of the antique bottles and jars on the top of the cupboards are his, and yet he wants all modern appliances, and didn't like the idea of funky plug plates. The trim and window treatments need to go up, and there's still paint splashes and the like to be cleaned up, but at least I can use it all.

My doctor had a talk with my husband, telling him to give me at least an hour, at least 3 times a week, to exercise, and meditate (he's big on yoga), and do things without kids, and other responsibilities. That was only a week ago, but so far I had a really good conversation with him about it, but then between grouting the tile, and washing and replacing all the stuff on top of the cupboards, I had less time. And then, of course, he keeps me up until midnight, and then leaves me to do all the glucose tests for our diabetic DD during the night (about 3 or 4), as well as the nightmare back rubs, and the "Mommy, I know it's 2 am, but I need a snack" runs. I am standing up at the counter, eating my lunch, and typing this while everyone else eats at the table. He is taking time off work to stay with DD while I go to physio, but I'm not sure if that counts. There must be a way to fit more in. I am terrible at time management, for one thing, and I must be one of the most sidetracked people in the world. I think I need to take a class, or join a gym. Once fall starts, hopefully DD will go to playschool one morning a week, that will help.

My older DD has been learning about Barbara Reid in school. She's been practicing it a lot. That, and doing science experiments. She wants to be Dr. Horrible. She even has a great evil laugh. She used to be a princess, wear only pink, and now she'd rather wear black and red. She likes Dr. Horrible and Ruby Gloom, dragons, and anything with vampires. And she's only 6!! I had to threaten to take her play makeup and jewelry away, she was starting to put it on to go to school. I might have a goth/steampunk princess on my hands!! I guess she comes by it honestly, but I don't remember being like that in grade 1. Buying school clothes next fall should be interesting, at least. Getting the kids to clean is like pulling teeth, but I don't think I'm alone there. The grind calls (sigh), I just hope I'll do this again, sooner than 6 months next time. ;P

Long Time

What a summer!! We went camping for 3 weeks in BC. We did the hot springs loop, and loved it! After we came back, I organized my big girl's room, and my little girl's corner. Those alone took several weeks, and then I took the girls and went home for a visit. After lots of shopping, including a great little red top hat, I came back and sent my DD off to Grade 1. That week, DH submitted his resume for a job that might take us to the REAL prairie. I found a nice house in commuting distance on MLS, showed him, a was confused when he laughed hysterically. Until he told me that it was the town Corner Gas was filmed in. Where I live, there are lakes, small forests, we live in the North Saskatchewan River valley, there is a small forested island with hiking trails, and wildlife, and the area between the island and the main banks is shallow enough to walk across in the fall. I cannot see forever. Down south though? So flat is almost seems impossible. It gives me this odd sort of vertigo. But, Regina is a surprisingly nice city, and it's DH's dream job, despite the pay cut. Which means I'll have to get more serious about making things to sell. Plus, I'm farther from family, as well as my diabetic pediatrician.

Speaking of diabetic pediatrician, at my appointment on Friday they told me that DD qualifies for an insulin pump. She's almost 3, and a nudist, so I don't know if I can get her to wear it, but it would mean that she can eat what and when she wants, and a little IV instead of 5 or 6 shots a day. It's scary, but it sure would be nice to stop the food fights.

My top hat is quite red, but a short one, not a tall one. It has red feathers on one side, with one black feather in there. Now I need a steampunk winter coat. Probably 3/4 length, maybe with the hem higher in the front than in the back. A Victorian riding habit look, or maybe a little military, but with a flare below the waist. I found one at Winners, the label said "laundry". It was still out of my budget, but it was very Jack the Ripper, while also quite feminine. High collar, box pleats at the back hip, very fitted. And too much money since the new cedar deck cost several hundred more than we expected. I might just have to find a larger size wool coat in a second hand store and alter it. Well, here's to the search. It might actually be the best part!!

Finding Yourself

After spending some time at the in-laws, with all the time to myself that that entails, I have been thinking more about spirituality. And no, I don't mean "God". I mean time to feel connected. Maybe meditation. A moving meditation, as I have a hard time with the lotus pose kind. Personal power. As someone who loved physics in school, quantum mechanics fascinates me (i.e. What The Bleep Do We Know?). The fact that everything is connected, everything one (Richard Bach), and yet not really real. Matter is an illusion. In our need to anthropomorphize everything, we have given the force behind life- within the universe- a personality or a name. Rather arrogant. As though identities, something we seem to hold so dear in ourselves, could encompass something so vast. And, unfortunately, we have even tried to give it a gender. I feel like I need to express this somehow. Visually, and in 3 dimensions, as is my wont. Before I was married, the numerology of my name branded me a spiritual person. I have to wonder if the numbers aren't right. Am I losing that power within myself now that I have become a wife, a mother? Can I take the feminine power inherent in those roles, and learn from it? Maybe.

30 Minutes, and The Good News

Is 30 minutes to myself too much to ask? My DH takes care of the kids, and yet I still don't get 30 minutes uninterrupted to dance, work out some tension, get my heart rate up. I'm lucky if I get 20. If the kids get any hint that I'm leaving, or that they are (but without me), my little one has a break down. The few times the Grandparents have stayed with them so DH and I could have a couple hours as adults, the little one spends the next couple weeks as my shadow, panicking if even her father tries to hold her. This strikes me as beyond separation anxiety. I know they love me, but seriously. They are 5 and 2, could I really still be the absolute centre of their universe?

On the up side of life, we bought a used truck. 2006 F-150. Not that I like trucks, but it will pull our trailer, and that means I get a nice summer vacation. I finally got my nose pierced. And yes, it does really bloody hurt. My navel piercing might have actually hurt less. Giving birth to my daughter on the bathroom floor in the middle of a blizzard wasn't as shocking as the stab of pain when she forced the needle in!! I know, what did I expect, I'm an idiot. Also, there are some new books out on corset making I think I'll have to get, and I must make an order at Farthingales, as well.

I did get to spend time with another stay at home mom, shopping in the city. Just us and our 4 kids! For some reason, it didn't seem nearly as bad dealing with the kids. Maybe having someone to talk to while we shopped made a big difference. Also, we went to stores I don't go to on my own. The hat store, the metaphysical shop down the street from the hat store. The piercing place!! It inspired me, got me out of my living-in-the-middle-of-nowhere-doing-nothing-exciting funk. Now I feel energized, and ready to create. Plus, the nose ring makes me feel more like I'm 30, less like I'm 60.

And last, but never least, hail spring!! After picking up DD from school, I just left the kids outside. YAY!!

Gardening for the Blood Type Diet, Ethnic Clothes

It is amazing how a simple cold virus can bring a household to it's knees. We have all spent the last week coughing up our lungs.

In that time, we did start planning our garden, though. We Square Foot Garden, and get a lot of produce, while still managing to keep our lawn. The only problem is that our naturopath has our diabetic DD on the blood type diet. She's type A, so no nightshades. I'm not quite sure how to garden without tomatoes or peppers. I always keep a section of the garden where they can go eat whatever they want, and that shouldn't change, but the no nightshades will hurt. Of course, I'm type O, so that means her recommendations for me were different, but 3 against 1.

On the sewing front, I've been sort of drawn to the ethnic feel of the clothes in some of the stores, but I'm not fond of the lack of shape. The embroidered and batik fabrics are amazing, the strong gypsy feel very nice, but not everyone looks good in a tent, and many people look pregnant in an empire waist with a flared skirt. The batwing shirts are something else, too. I might have a couple of them hiding somewhere, but they are probably sized for a 14 year old. Well, the ethnic feel sort of goes with my bellydancing obsession, and Ann Sayre Wiseman's Cuts of Cloth is definitely a start for some experiments. There may be a kameez or afghanistan blouse in my near future. I also have some glorious chinese silk in a heavy kimono weight just waiting to turn into something.

This cape over on BurdaStyle goes well my current vampire fetish as well. Maybe that's what I should do with that red silk. I have a smaller piece of black with gold dragons, but the red would be more striking. The question is, am I ready to venture out of hiding? It's so much easier to hide what I really like, than to come out in Saskatchewan. The red would certainly speak out, and when we first moved here, I still wore my vintage furs, and biker boots, and piercings, but has my nerve fled forever? Are Husky's sweats and ponytails my future, or chinese red capes and 2 tone hair? Only time will tell.