Finding Yourself

After spending some time at the in-laws, with all the time to myself that that entails, I have been thinking more about spirituality. And no, I don't mean "God". I mean time to feel connected. Maybe meditation. A moving meditation, as I have a hard time with the lotus pose kind. Personal power. As someone who loved physics in school, quantum mechanics fascinates me (i.e. What The Bleep Do We Know?). The fact that everything is connected, everything one (Richard Bach), and yet not really real. Matter is an illusion. In our need to anthropomorphize everything, we have given the force behind life- within the universe- a personality or a name. Rather arrogant. As though identities, something we seem to hold so dear in ourselves, could encompass something so vast. And, unfortunately, we have even tried to give it a gender. I feel like I need to express this somehow. Visually, and in 3 dimensions, as is my wont. Before I was married, the numerology of my name branded me a spiritual person. I have to wonder if the numbers aren't right. Am I losing that power within myself now that I have become a wife, a mother? Can I take the feminine power inherent in those roles, and learn from it? Maybe.